Wordless Weekend #1

Dear Ohio BMV:

Fuck you. Fuck you for wasting my time and money, as well as causing me undue stress and anxiety. I really should leave it at that, but since I'm in such a giving mood, please allow me to elaborate so that you may get your heads out of your asses and correct your policies pertaining to out-of-state drivers licenses.

1. The fact that I even had to take your written driving test whilst trying to obtain an Ohio drivers license is bullshit. When I moved from this Nazi state eight years ago and walked into another state's DMV, all I had to do to get their license was hand over my Ohio license and take a new picture. No test, no vision screening, nothing. They trusted that other states would not issue a licence to an un-fit driver. Apparently, you have trust issues.

2. Regardless, I went and took your damn written test. And passed. With flying colors. Despite the fact that I almost fainted waiting in your line-o-hell, surrounded by a hundred other people who either: a.)In the wrong line (because nothing was clearly marked), b.) Did not have the proper documentation with them, only to be sent home, retrieve said information, then return to the line-o-hell to wait another hour before being helped. I understand that you may believe that this is standard procedure for a BMV/DMV, but I wish to inform you that this is no longer the case. The last state I lived in has streamlined this process, and never have I, or anyone else I know, had to spend more than 20 minutes within their facility. There are staff members at the door to check documentation BEFORE the customers get in line, to prevent the aforementioned waiting in the line-o-hell un-needlessly. They also have clearly marked waiting areas, unlike you, who jumbles everyone together in a 6x6 space in the corner once they have emerged cranky and frustrated from the line-o-hell.

3. After I emerge from the line-o-hell, given you my documentation, waited in the "holding area" in the corner, filled out your form, waited, turned in my form once you called my name, waited, took the written test, waited, paid my $25.00, and waited some more, you then inform me that instead of issuing me a license from the great state of Ohio, you can only offer me a Temporary License. Apparently, this is because my out of state license is expired by a few days. Well, no shit Sherlock! It was about to expire at the same time I was in the process of moving back to Ohio. Who in their right mind would go in and renew their license in an old state, only to have to repeat the process of getting a new license in the new state a week later? Who gives a shit if the date on my old license expired a few days ago? Does that mean all my driving skills suddenly fled my body? No, it does not.

4. I would have been happy to have taken the driving and maneuverability test right then and there, but I was not given the opportunity since the wait to get in to take the test is a freaking MONTH! Instead, I was issued the temporary license for the previously stated $25.00, only to have to come back a month later, pay another $25.00 for the actual drivers license, and take the road test. Personally, I feel that a month's wait to take the test is just a tad unreasonable, and I get the feeling that this really just about money.

5. Since having been issued my temporary license, I have been forced to beg a family member to come with me anytime I need to drive somewhere, being that it is now illegal for me to drive alone and must have a licensed driver over the age of 21 with me at all times. Like I am freaking 16 years old again.

6. (This is the one that really chaps my ass.)Pain in the ass that it is, I can almost understand your reasoning behind out-of-state drivers to take the written test once moving to Ohio. You have trust issues and just want to make sure that we know that we know the "Rules of the Road", even though they really don't differ that much from state to state. I'm having a much harder time understanding having to take the road test all over again. If I had walked into your facility 4 days earlier than I did, there would have been no issue, but you seem to be under the belief that somehow how in those 96 hours all 10 years worth of my driving experience disappeared from my pretty little head, and therefore must be tested on the road. What I do NOT understand is: You claim that the reason behind all this written and practical testing is to make sure that I am capable of operating a moving vehicle according to the laws and standards of the state of Ohio. You want to be sure I can pass YOUR test, since apparently no other state's testing requirements are as good at yours. Great, fine, just dandy. Well, if you would just trot yourself on over to your to your little license database there, you would easily be able to learn that I took your fucking test already! I have held an Ohio license before! I took Driver's Education in this state, put in my 50 hours of accompanied driving time, held a temporary permit, taken your written test AND your driving test, and PASSED! All I did was simply move to another state for awhile, so your reasoning does not exactly hold water in my court. This has all been a giant waste of my time and money, for absolutely NO reason.

Sincerely Fuck You,
Miss Contemptuous

I Am Sick And Tired...

...of being sick and tired. I've caught the cold that is being passed around this house and with the exception of faking a happy face at a job interview yesterday, I feel like I'm going to die. Please understand my pause in blogging.

Kill.Me.Now.(Please!)

I'm sorry for not having written any posts this past week, but I was taking a "mental health vacation". I have spent sooo much time on the Internet job hunting lately that thought of sitting down to write a blog post made me shudder. I am SO sick of job hunting.

I have been working since the age of 14 (where I danced in an outdoor musical show for kids at a Halloween hayride place, along side costumed characters such as Barney), and I don't ever recall job hunting being this difficult. It used to be, you looked through the want ads, found something you were interested in, applied, and hoped for the best. Nowadays, it seems like 50% or more of the ads that I respond to are crap. By crap, I mean they appeared to be a legit ad, with full description of what the job entails, basic requirements, etc., and the instant I send them my resumé, I get an automated email in my inbox disclosing what they really are. Usually, it's an envelope stuffing company (where you will receive $12.00 for every envelope stuffed with their materials!), or a based-on-commission, door-to-door knife selling company that wants me to start by selling to my friends and family.

This is FRUSTRATING. I'm no dummy. I normally know how to spot these ads, and I think that's the problem. These scam companies have caught on to the fact that the gig is up, so they now post "fake" ads that in no way reflect what the job really is, sneakily getting you to apply. This has resulted in a HUGE waste of my time, a ton of spam, and a lot more grey hairs on my head. The scammers are everywhere, too. From Craigslist, to the small local paper here in town, to the large Cleveland papers. Even signs on local business are false.

My mother went to the local butcher shop for some ribs, and told me that they had a sign outside advertising that they needed "deli help". This seemed totally legit since local high school students work there and this place has been a landmark business in my my town for over 100 years. But of course, when I go down there, the job is crap. They are actually looking for a butcher. Well, if you want a BUTCHER, put that on the sign"! "Deli Help" sounds to me like you want someone to work behind the counter, weighing and wrapping up the meat and filling orders for party trays, not cutting up cows in the back! Uggggggggh!

I Would Like To Thank The Academy...

I just wanted to pop in and thank ClaireMontgomeryMD for giving my first blog award ever! It truly means a lot to me, and encourages me to continue ranting writing about all the things that piss me off! Here's to all the other Honest Scraps out there!

Racist Sheep

OK, this story took place back in 2005, but I am posting it now because I feel it is a perfect example of some of the dumb asses who live in this country, and how I got revenge on one of them.

I used to work in a large medical clinic as a Medical Office Assistant. My job was to room the patients when they come in to see the doctor, take their vitals, get the room set up for the doctor, etc.

This particular day I had a lady come in (white lady I will add, which will grow more apparent soon) who just as I was about to take her blood pressure noticed a business card that had been left on the desk the previous day by an Indian resident doctor. The lady froze when she saw the card and asked in a panic "What doctor am I seeing today?!"

I assured her that she was seeing her own doctor, and that the card was leftover from the day before. She replied "Good! I don't want to see no foreign doctor. Do you know how hard it is to find a white doctor these days? The first two I had retired, and now it seems like the only ones left are all Indians or something. I am just so sick and tired of them coming here to get their education, then staying and taking the Americans' money and sending it back to whatever third world country they came from."

By this point I am in shock, and am trying to decide if I can stay in the room without going off on this woman or if I should just walk out. She then looks at my name tag and says "(Insert my real name here)?" That's a pretty name. Where is it from, I have never heard it before."

I coolly look up at her and say "It's Indian." (My name really is Indian, and actually stems back to the now-dead language Sanskrit, as well as modern day Hindi.)

This woman actually gulps and asks "Indian-Indian, or 'Native-American-Indian'?" I replied "Indian as in from India".

This woman is now looking me up and down, checking out my dark hair yet light eyes and skin. She decides I am at least part Indian, because she continues with "Is your family over there OK? Were they hurt by the disaster?"

I ask her "'Over there' where?"

She says "India, or...Afghanistan?".

Liking the the power I now had over this woman's psyche, I simply replied "My family is fine, thank you."

By this point this woman had already made her assumptions and I wasn't going to correct her. She spent all that time bashing foreign people, and now she thinks I am one and the whole thing is a classic case of "open-mouth-insert-foot." I cranked up the blood pressure cuff more than necessary, which is rather painful, finished my job and left the room. This woman was a racist (and un-educated) bitch. She probably thought I went and put a Jihad on her, which is fine by me.

Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir?

In honor of my new blog, I've decided to do my first mini-meme. Before you all start groaning and/or running for the hills, this meme is about all the things that make us feel sexy. Does that help at all? These can be body parts, things you do, or whatever strikes your fancy. Anyone can join in, but I will be tagging the readers currently following me. Now for the fun part- here are some of the things that make me feel sexy...

Painting my nails red...

My alabaster skin...

My collarbone...

Sleeping naked...

Conversations with my ex where he tells me that his wife has gotten fat, and that he finds me more sexually attractive than her. This also makes me feel like laughing in his face, considering he broke up with me to get back together with her. Sucka!

I am tagging:
Ms. Salti
Mysterg
Mr. Condescending
Nanc Twop
The Peach Tart
Phuong Thuy (sorry, I don't have a link to add to this one)

OK all you sexy bloggers, get crackin'!